Photo Credit: breamarie

No matter how strong your resolve is, breakups are never easy. Things that you used to share, both minuscule and mundane, always seem to manifest themselves at the oddest, most random moments. And so you find yourself hardening your heart just a little bit more. Fighting back the latest wave of tears just a little bit harder. Turning just a little bit colder.

A few minutes ago, I found a giant cockroach in the house. He had to sort it out, as always, because in true female fashion, cockroaches terrify me. He missed it, though, and it would’ve completely gotten away, if the cat hadn’t caught it. 

For a few moments, we were proud parents once again. It took me back to the days of old when such moments would’ve had us both cuddling with the cat (likely while he’s chewing on his latest catch) with our arms around each other, like the nice little family that we were. Tonight, we almost shared a few cheers, and there was a moment that we actually looked and almost smiled at each other for the first time in days.

But, of course, that moment passed. What would’ve been exclamations of pride and delight quickly died down in both our throats. He quietly swept out the carcass; I carried on writing my e-mail.

Oh yes, breakups are hard. They’re even harder when you are both still living in the same house and sharing a lot of the same moments, both minuscule and mundane, that you used to find joy in together. Such as the maiming of a decrepit insect.

A cockroach died tonight. Our relationship died a little bit more, too. I shed a tear. Just one, and it was no more.

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